Practice Conscious Parenting Solutions
What does it really mean to practice “conscious” parenting?
It means first to be aware of ourselves. This is rarely done with any depth of intent. We typically react to our children’s behavior and just presume that our reaction was okay.
To be a conscious parent involves paying deeper attention. There is no ideology to it. There is no belief system involved. You drop beliefs and pay deeper attention to yourself, to your child, and to what transpires in the relationship between the two of you.
There is no blaming in conscious parenting. Blame is an evasive tactic that we engage in to avoid taking a deeper look at ourselves. When we pay deeper attention we see how we cause every experience we have with our children. Instead of blaming or beating ourselves up (or berating our children) for what goes wrong, we simply engage in creating something new.
Conscious parenting involves waking up to how we create what happens to us, including the experiences we have with our children. For instance, you might notice deep down inside of you an urge to spend more time with your children. At the same time you believe you need to remain focused on making a living. Your logic says, “You better work on your livelihood” when something deeper, clearer and truer tells you, “Focus on your children.” The conscious parent heeds the guidance of that deeper light that radiates a knowing that it is true.
So conscious parenting is courageous parenting, involving the courage to face and follow the truth as you sense it deep down inside.
The conscious parent is an explorer of truth.
There is only so much time in the day and some of it needs to be invested in learning, study and education regarding the deeper teachings of self-understanding and life-wisdom. If you have time to watch TV you have time to simply close your eyes and watch what goes on inside of you, in your thoughts and feelings. This simple practice awakens you to the deeper path of truth in your relationship with your child.
Conscious parents establish boundaries, but not from a blind emotional reaction to not liking what the child is doing. A conscious parent distrusts all emotional reactions, including the emotional reaction of feeling proud of our children. Why is feeling proud of our children a problem? Because it transmits to the child that how I feel about you is conditional, that you should use my feeling of pride as your guide to life-choices. This is unconscious, selfish parenting.
Ultimately we want the child to find himself and herself, to lead a life of true meaning. How can we help a child do that if we are not doing it? We can’t. For generations we have had unconscious parents raising children to lead unconscious lives. How do we know? Look at the world’s problems: the betrayals that go on in relationships, the ecological rape of our planet, the heinous acts against children for adult sex-thrill, the toxic quality of workplaces and petty managers, the hatred that goes on between married couples, the identity thefts, the utter sham of political leadership, etc. This is all done by adults who were raised by someone to be as they are.
We have a great opportunity in parenting to grow more aware. God sends a challenging child into our lives when it is time for US to grow. But we do not take that opportunity without the parent discipline of practicing paying more honest attention to how we feel and think and speak and act. Every time we hurt the heart of the child we are parenting unconsciously.
In the end, conscious parenting is about parenting with love, and without anger or stress. You might believe you are being loving while you feel anger and stress, but pay closer attention and be honest with yourself and you will see that you feel the opposite of love. Conscious parenting is a practice that each one of us can improve in while meeting the daily problems we face as parents, and thus lead more loving, joyful lives and avoid misleading our children away from thir beautiful destinies.
Bob Lancer has been inspiring and enlightening parents, teachers and early childhood care givers on the subject of more consciously raising our children for more fulfilling parenting, childhood and child development. Click here to see Bob's upcoming seminar in the Atlanta area.
Call 770-364-9580 or email for more information about how Bob can help your family, your school and your child.
Bob does parntinng phone coaching with growing parents around the world, and presents inspiring keynotes and seminars at schools and conferences world-wide, as well as in Conscious Parenting Salons in people's homes around the world.