Child Development, Behavior & Emotions
Solving a child's behavior problem is really a matter of solving a child development problem. The child has developed inappropriate ways of behaving because of a blockage in the healthy child development maturation process. And this is typically rooted in an emotional problem the child is suffering with.
An angry, unhappy, insecure child, like an angry, unhappy, insecure adult, simply cannot behave well. Each time the child's emotional disturbance triggers an inappropriate behavior, that behavior becomes ingrained, blocking the advancement of the child development process.
A blockage in the child's developmental process is caused by an emotional problem and is expressed through disrespectful, destructive, dangerous, defiant behavior and attitudes By releasing the child from his emotional pain, and then establishing clear boundaries, you can solve the child's behavior problems by releasing the blockage to higher development of the child.
The most common mistake parents make is to focus exclusively on the child's behavior, overlooking the child's feelings that block the child's process of development and drive problematic behavior.
The first step to releasing the blockage to higher development of the child is to focus more attention on how your child appears to feel. This requires getting in touch with your own feelings. If you have difficulty doing this, it is likely that you have an anger problem. As you continue focusing attention on how you feel, you will get through your anger and into deeper awareness of your own emotional pain.
Children become like those they spend time with, and the younger the child the more impressionable the child. Just by working through your own emotional issues you help your child gain release from her the child's emotional issues or blockages.
The next step is to focus your intention on more consciously and sensitively relating with how your child feels. Over time, through practice, your awareness of your child's present emotional state will grow more acute. You can then more effectively respond to the child's emotional needs, which further dissolves the emotional blockage to liberate the child's higher development.
Learn more about improving your child's behavior by understanding child development in Bob Lancer's breakthrough book, Parenting With Love, Without Anger or Stress.