How To Improve Your
Is your teen suffering with low self-esteem?
Does your teen seem to make impossible demands upon himself, expect perfection, and then put himself down when performance falls below expectations?
Does your child endlessly compare herself to other kids who seem to be doing better in a particular area, and then express toward herself a denigrating attitude?
Does your teen express an “I can’t” attitude when challenged, though you know that if he only believed in and applied himself that challenge would be overcome?
If you feel the pain of watching your teen suffer low self-esteem, here is one solution that has helped many kids develop more respect for themselves, more belief in themselves, and more compassion toward themselves, while improving their performance in the process.
What the low self-esteem teen needs to learn is a very simple lesson that I teach both adults and teens. It is about relating to your self-concept as a cause, not as an effect.
What I mean by this is that how she thinks and feels about herself is a cause… it is creative. We human beings live up to or we live down to the self-image that we hold in mind and identify with.
Explain to your son that if he really wants to do better, he needs to see himself as the person he wants to be. Self-critical thinking beats down our courage and confidence and actually causes us to under-perform.
She needs to take charge of the self-critical way that she habitually thinks about herself, to reject ideas of herself that put her down, and to create and focus on ideas of herself as the star performer she wants to be.
He has to develop the inner strength to be able to see himself as a winner even when things don't turn out the way that proves he is one.
As she develops the self-discipline to think and feel about herself as she wants to be, she is cultivating a secret success mindset that the greatest champions and highest achievers practice.
One final point: You can help your teen the most in this area by practicing the guidelines I have described for yourself. Your most powerful parental influence is modeling.
Notice how many times a day you "beat yourself up" for being, say, not a good enough parent, or spouse, or worker, or whatever. Each time you put yourself down in your mind you are not only lowering your own morale and performance, you are influencing your children to think negatively about themselves.
So here, as in so many other areas, the key to raising our children is raising ourselves.
Here is a simple exercise for strengthening the positive view that you need to have of you. Practice it yourself and share it with your teen.
1… Think about the people that you admire the most.
2… Think about what it is that you admire most about them.
3… Make a list of those positive traits.
4… Then close your eyes and try to imagine yourself with either the same traits, or with similar traits that you admire equally.
5… As you inhale, imagine that you are becoming the admirable person you see in your mind.
6… As you exhale, softly say, “This is the image of me I can be. This is the image of me as I AM.
Did you find this article helpful? If so, please share it with your friends and family, your child’s teachers, etc. If it brings up any questions for you, please feel more than welcome to email me your questions and I will email your Lancer Answer within a few days.
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